Hello from one of the only places in the country with snow on the ground. We've had a very cold week, with ice and snow remaining from last weekend's storm. Our backyard, on the north side of the house, is in shade most of the day, so the snow can last a long time after it falls. There's still a little snow in the front yard too, and the houses across the street have lots of snow in their front yards. I love the way the Christmas lights look with some snow, like a real winter wonderland!
I'm so glad we've reached the holiday break, which began yesterday. It was a hard week. Everyone is getting sick (again), we had event after event to attend (fun, but exhausting), and the small Bears and I were involved in a minor car accident. Everyone is fine, and my car is too, but even so, it shakes you up. I'm not the most confident driver under the best of circumstances, so this makes me dread driving more than usual. But drive I must, I really don't have a choice on a typical day. So the break is very welcome from that standpoint too.
Really, it's just nice to have some time off. I've just come off a three-week bender (it feels like) of dealing with pharmacies, the insurance company and the LB's kidney specialist on a daily basis, trying to straighten out a medication-related situation. I feel resentful of the hurdles and hoops a patient (or his parent) must go through. I hate to complain - we have an excellent doctor and he's certainly not at fault - but it's just so difficult. Sometimes I feel like I'm screaming into the wind.
Christmas sometimes gets me down, to be honest. I try hard (maybe too hard) to make Christmas a special and happy time for my children. My own background doesn't include much of this; holidays were fraught times and my memories of them are not particularly positive. Unfortunately, some of the same difficulties are ongoing. Distance helps a lot, as does learning to gird myself against other people's choices. Each year, I struggle a bit with this; I don't want to bring any of it into my own home, but I also wish that it could have been different. It's a hard balance between the fixing and the longing. But I've come to look at it as a opportunity, a clean slate for making our own happy times now, a chance to remind myself that I've done important work.
So I'm ready to relax and rest. I still need to buy all the food for holiday, aside from some things I already have in the freezer. No more shopping to do otherwise; now it's just the wrapping and plenty of it. My own gifts will be fairly spare this year - some crafting supplies, books, candles. I don't need much. None of us does, so we've kept it simple. We're just looking forward to our usual holiday pastimes - games, movies, hobbies, fires in the evenings, egg nog and cookies. I hope this weekend finds you relaxed and calm too.